More Than You'll Ever Know

Monday, February 26, 2007

exams start today.and i didnt sleep last night.
i didnt sleep.doesnt mean i studied.
i had enough of broadband shits for the whole fucking day.
and i was falling asleep while doing the paper.
and i lost 16 marks.hoho.
and my sentences are all choppy.
haha.bye.

RUNWAY scheduled at 9:13 PM

Sunday, February 25, 2007

3 more days and then i'll be free to do whatever fuck that i want.
no restrictions, no rules.
and fuck you all who tried to set some rules.

i spent some time watching an interview last night and indeed it was very very enlightening.
i feel like sending the links to some of you.
so that after you watched it, you will realise how much you hurt someone's feelings, how much sometimes i just wish you could open your eyes wide and see something and how much you will take back what you have said to me because if you were in my shoes, you would feel the exact same way that i felt.

the final weeks definitely opened my eyes.
and im glad and thankful that i see something i never knew.
suddenly, everything was against me and i realise who are real to me.
who accepts me for who i am.
who loves me for who i am.
and who doesnt judge me at all.
i understand the rest of your beliefs and i hold nothing against them.
everyone has their own belief and if they choose to stand strong in them then i honestly have nothing to say.
as much as i have no rights to change what you believe in,you too have no right to be judgmental and make assumptions abt my belief.

and anyway we dont meet quite often and we wont be, so, i dont care.
i just hope that when youre out there, you will finally realise that the world out there is much worst than the one youve been seeing.

and i dont need you to remind me, to teach me how to lead my life.
even my mum doesnt impose any restrictions on me.
and my dad doesnt question me where did i go, what did i do, every single day of my life.
and they are the people that im uber closed to and i fucking love them.

i really do.

RUNWAY scheduled at 9:52 PM

someone should give me one tight slap.

i youtubed more than i studied.goddamnit.

and i watched She's All That.

Again.

But seriously, how to study?

When the clowns have been singing to themselves since

the time I woke up!

Now they are singing "You are my sunshine"

macam sial.

RUNWAY scheduled at 1:42 AM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

i have nothing to blog.
day's awesome.
so yeah.
day was awesome.
very awesome.
i have tonnes of photos.
but i lazy to put all.
i put one first okay.

i hardly show hanna-su's pretty pretty face here.

so here you go :

and i hate my cheeks.

RUNWAY scheduled at 2:26 AM

Thursday, February 22, 2007

hahaha i see, ic, i c
hahaha i see i c,ic hahaha
hahahaha i seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

screw you mofo
I KNOW YOU CAN FUCKING SEE.

thanks very much.

RUNWAY scheduled at 7:45 PM

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

i was halfway doing my revision and i thought of blogger.
i owe blogger one.
know why?
cos everytime im pissed,or fucking sad, or angry
who do i go to?
blogger.
who do i rant to?
ya la myself la.but i type it out all in blogger and i'll feel a little bit better after that.

if blogger was some hot person i would love to sleep with blogger.

and have you ever wonder sometimes why you bother to do something?
why you bother to be nice?
when all you get is a goddamn slap in the face kinda thing?
i fucking do.

and sometimes im just tired of being nice.
sometimes i feel like doing something un-nice or not nice or whatever.
like pull my brother's not so much hair,
throw a god damn big rock at someone's head,
scream at your face for nothing,
anything but not being nice.
get wtf im trying to say?

so yeah.screw you.screw love.screw you.and screw you.

and i make no apologies for how i choose/chose to repair something that you broke.

RUNWAY scheduled at 7:05 PM

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

im talking to a few people on MSN and is it just me or is it really annoying when you sense that the other party is fucking bored talking to you maybe cos youre fucking lame or whatever it is when he/she gives those you know..pathetic replies that make you feel somewhat rather fucking pathetic.

i fucking hate it you know i really do.

i dont wanna put the replies here.though my fingers are itching to copy paste them.

i hate it when it seems like im trying too hard to make/keep up a conversation.

maybe i should just shut my mouth now.

im so fucking pathetic.

RUNWAY scheduled at 11:25 PM

a day wasted.i was done chatting at 6am but didnt really sleep till 7+, 8.i was listening to my mp3 emoing.
never mind about that.i finally slept at 8am and woke up at............................................
4pm.
macam babi.
and i fell asleep again at like what..7pm?barely 3 hours after i woke up.

im fucking bored la,period.i can do anything and everything but study.

and now i feel nauseous and i wanna freaking puke on someones face.
random.

RUNWAY scheduled at 11:12 PM

Monday, February 19, 2007

today was spent writing down notes and of course, the only way to relieve stress; youtubing.
caught Take The Lead for the first time and my all time favourite movie She's All That.i think i caught that movie for more than 10 times already but i still aint sick of it.plus, it doesnt hurt that my "idol's" in it.hurhur.who wouldnt wish to look like him.
i bet u many many girls out there melt whenever he smiles.
i know someone close whos madly in love with him since forever.
so for you, here you go :

swoon girls swoon. (:

so anyway, i badly wana go out and bloody mug one of these days.i doubt i can trust myself to study at home cause' there are many many food and once i get tired of eating, my legs would auto move towards my bed.and what do i do next?

yeah, youre damn right.sleep.

and i think today's my mom's birthday.

RUNWAY scheduled at 11:38 AM

Sunday, February 18, 2007

I spent CNY today searching for my lost tutorial answers all the pukimak notes I wrote for previous term tests.And fuck, surprisingly I didnt have to spend much time!haha!

They were all in my cupboard collecting a hell lot of dust or dusts (if theres plural form of dust.)
Nothing interesting for me to blog today except that I talked on MSN till 6am last night and I swear I never talked that long on MSN in my whole entire 19 years of life.Surprisingly I was still so awake even after I was done chatting.hoho

I was going through my mail and I found this funny funny thing hanna-su sent to me.
Its damn funny I laughed till I tripped over my LAN cable.

Here it goes :

"NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH"

A bus stops and 2 men get on.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! .
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,"
She retorted indignantly.
"In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives."
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '."

$10.00 says you're gonna read this again!

RUNWAY scheduled at 9:37 PM

i spent saturday sleeping my whole life through and dream after dream came.
one of which reminded me of something sucky, something i wish it never happened but it already did and that's just too bad for me.

the conversation we had, the anger that i felt.it was so surreal.

and i never saw you after that.

and one question still remain.

you need to make love to love or you need to love to make love?

RUNWAY scheduled at 2:57 AM

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Gisele Bundchen- Magazine Rolling Stones declared her as the most beautiful girl in the world.

and i couldnt agree more.

now let me finish watching the fashion show.the brother is yelling at me.

RUNWAY scheduled at 2:16 AM

Friday, February 16, 2007

words can spread pretty damn fast dont you think?
give it maybe a minute or so.the next thing you know, questions are thrown at you.

it was intentional.
i knew it was gonna come.
i knew how much you cant stand it.
but seriously,

have you ever thought that they are just how they are?

its wrong
its not right
whatever.

what the fuck does it have to do with being right?

you have something against it then say it.
dont start running around the bushes and keep on denying it but at the end of the day
the response would still be the same.

i would love to regret over it , i shouldnt have been clean about it but so what.
seriously so what.
i already did and theres nothing i can do about it.

sometimes its a tad too much to take in.

RUNWAY scheduled at 11:35 PM

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

the brother kindly accompanied down to this place for a nice waste-of-my-time
session.its really nonsense i tell you.will tell you guys tomorrow.
fucking waste of my precious time.

so we camgigoloed around the area of esplanade and laughed laughed
and gossipped about some ex-schoolmates.
and apparently, we dislike the same bunch of people!
surprise surprise.
we both fucking cant stand those idiots.
really idiots.

hes been so fucking nice recently i wonder if its because
hes growing up or hes just like that
or he knows im gona graduate soon and earn money thus
when i earn money i might be able to spend it on him.

theres once i asked him to come all the way down to tpy central to take
my stuffs home for me so that i can go pasar malam with a girlfriend
and he fucking did so okay.
he came all the way down wear nice nice, wear belt with jeans
with nice nice t-shirt.
just to pass me my wallet and take my stuffs home for me.

what a weirdo.

RUNWAY scheduled at 10:21 PM

Monday, February 12, 2007

bought some stuffs for upcoming valentine's day and boy im so fucking happy!
finally i got em all.
and i finally got goddamn new wallet!
thank you miss right hand. (:
i hope you love your gift too cos i fucking love mine!

shared each other stories and it felt really really good.
mainly because she herself has no idea what is it that have been bothering me.
and to actually pour (almost) everything out,
i feel so damn fking good, really.
thanks for taking the time. (:

im in two minds about coming down to that Robinson's Point interview or dont know what shit is that about.
Especially after what Wei Lin told me from her experience.
I'm gona think about it slowly till tomorrow and ask her again if i should go.
Meanwhile, i shall patiently wait for Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2006.
i cant wait to see Gisele Bundchen. (:

RUNWAY scheduled at 9:53 PM

Saturday, February 10, 2007

i know some of you are tired of reading two to three liners of entries so let me blog properly this time around. (:

did i mention i had napfa?dont ask me how i did okay.LOL.especially 2.4km run.
but i fucking love a few of the other 5 stations.
and i met this nice tall fit guy for sit ups.
i said nice because hes super friendly.
i dont know why, he gave me a gay vibe.
but i dont give a shit, hes nice.

D'cotta mentioned that i was too gentle during the interview.
so what else?some marks gone for that.
shes kinda particular.
so guys, dont talk so soft and gentle during your interview on Wednesday yeah?
shout your lungs out.all the best to you guys.

that night was a really fucking stupid night.
i dont know if you realised how stupid you were.
its stupid and congratulations, it got me so down i did something i didnt even wanna do.
good job, you.

and last night was a huge mistake, i agree.
if i could turn back time i wouldnt do it.
but thats what almost everybody would do wouldnt it.
when you are all lost and messed up and you couldnt think.
its liquidity.you just go with the flow.

RUNWAY scheduled at 10:23 PM

Friday, February 09, 2007

if only you could realise it.

then i wont be in this much of pain.

RUNWAY scheduled at 11:45 PM

RUNWAY scheduled at 12:27 AM

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

sudden familiarity came back today.
the feeling i thought had been gone for good, was surprisingly back.

but it didnt last.
but like what those mofos always say,

nothing lasts forever

or or

it was good while it last

but seriously,

why cant they just simply last.

and someone said my blog's song not nice.
how can, zihui, how can?
still can tell me Kermit the Frog's song's nicer.
HOW DARE YOU.

RUNWAY scheduled at 12:19 AM

Monday, February 05, 2007

Can't move on... but I can't go home
and I'm not so strong... but I'll make my way
to the place I know
inside my heart
where I used to go to get brave
and I don't want to be lost anymore.

gotta find my way back home.

I don't know where I g0 - but I know I drive alone.
I terribly miss you....more than you'll ever know.
You've got to come back somehow.
You've got to come back somehow.

Can't move on... but I can't go home
and I'm not so strong... but I'll make my way
to the place I know
inside my heart
where I used to go
to get brave and....

Esthero - i drive alone

RUNWAY scheduled at 11:11 PM

Sunday, February 04, 2007

and suddenly it all came back to me in last night's dream.

how i would feel dismantled everytime i look at you.

RUNWAY scheduled at 2:39 PM

day's spent with wei ching and su-h shopping for wei ching's stuffs for upcoming CNY.
funny girl..i bet she learnt alot of things today from the both of us.HAHA!

talked about each other's crushes and ex-es and people we used to date and i cant help laughing/smiling by myself when i think back of some.and i know right now both of them cant stand one person i used to hang out with.HAHA.funny people.
and wei ching reminded me of something really really really stupid that i did back in secondary school days which i totally erased from my mind.damn it you little moron. (:

its freaking sunday tomorrow and ive yet to study for monday's netsec test.
wish me luck for that.

RUNWAY scheduled at 12:06 AM

Thursday, February 01, 2007

i came home and realised my wireless network isnt working and i couldnt sign in MSN.
i nearly cried.LOL.
see,i cant live without Internet connection.Without MSN/Yahoo Messenger.
throw my mp3,throw my TV away.I dont give a shit.
BUT INTERNET CONNECTION?
no way hozay.

so i searched high and low for that grey grey cable, i dont know whats the name dont ask me.
AND I FOUND IT!
and am using LAN instead.TADA!

BUT BUT BUT

I STILL COULDNT SIGN IN MSN!!!

so i itchy finger here and there and boy, im sucha smartfuck, MSN IS WORKING!!!
my brothers should give me a kiss tonight.
ok, maybe not.just a thank you will do.

enough about that.
thank YOU for being there today.you know who you are. (:
youre like ..
one of the few people who understand me most.
you dont judge me, you dont see me like some other morons do.
and i really appreciate that.really.

i tried to talk but it seems like im trying so hard to.
plus its been really busy and i doubt i could be heard.
i sense it now but i actually saw this coming.
dont even ask if im surprised.

RUNWAY scheduled at 10:20 PM

12 38 am.
and im still here. surfing my life away and blogging.talking about blogging, i realised how much my tagboard is getting so stale and dusty, until oh-so-nice nurul tagged! (:

i forgot to add earlier on that as usual, i screwed the mcomm quiz.
i did study though.
im already stupid enough, set tricky questions some more.of course i will screw this subject up,
time and time again.

life cant get any better than this. (:

school is driving me nuts.

people at home are no different.

lose/losing/lost the person i realised ive always loved.

and i fell sick after much trials of moving on.

big loser i am.

welcome to my life. (:

and fuck february btw.

RUNWAY scheduled at 12:45 AM